I think it’s interesting that my friend Roy Cooper, the legend, plays such a big role in his youngest son’s career – but mostly mentally. Roy probably thought his boys could figure out their own style of handling a rope and running a string, but he could tell them a thing or two about being a champion.
We want our kids to see themselves as winners – as the best in the game at 12, and at 15, etc. We want them to feel like they have an edge. You can do that with your child if you put the right horse under him or her.
Get your kid a horse that makes him or her feel confident and comfortable while roping; then upgrade to more horse at the right time and just keep stepping them up. As a 10-year-old, my son Joel had an advantage because he had an outstanding horse – it made him rope more like a 13-year-old at that stage.
Joel started thinking of himself as a winner; as someone who knows how to win. I set him up to think he was always a winner. Some parents aren’t that way – they want their kids to learn to train their own horse, for instance. But if a kid doesn’t start off with a good horse, other kids the same age will advance much quicker and it could hurt his confidence.
It’s tricky to figure out how best to give our children what they need. The psychology of confidence is so interesting to me. For one thing, a good coach doesn’t treat all of his players the same – some kids are timid; some have a little false confidence and others are a little naïve. They’re motivated in different ways.
Some kids start thinking they rope a little better than they actually do, which might tempt you to put them in their place. If you’re like me, you want your kids to be realistic about where they’re competitive.
But be very careful about using the word "can’t." Remember what Roy Cooper did with Tuf – he kept telling that kid that he could win anytime, anywhere. You want to be truthful as a parent, but you may not realize what’s going on in this kid’s heart and mind.
Maybe your kid will try to go out and compete when you know he’s not ready. But if you stay quiet, he’ll probably realize he’s in a little over his head and then he’ll come home and work on it. Pretty soon he’ll be able to compete at that level.
Maybe your kid isn’t working at it as hard as he should, but it could be a phase that will pass. If you take the fun out of it for kids who already don’t really want to work hard at this, it can really bust an egg in them. To give them that winning feeling back, encourage at every step and go the extra mile to make it fun. That’s just smart roping.
For more, visit SmartRoping.com.